The Heart of Yoga, Developing a Personal Practice’ by K.V Desikachar. (The revised edition) Chapter title ‘Actions Leave Traces’ page 87 .
The chapter’s title reminds me of the phrase ‘words create worlds.’ because Desikachar touches on two important topics of metal suffering and how to help find relief from it.
The chapter is brief, a couple of pages and very dense. I feel fortunate to have such a good grasp on these concepts from previous trainings because otherwise it could easily be overwhelming. At one point I sort of giggled to myself when on page 88 it says ‘…the other steps are too complex for our discussion.’ and instructs us to read from the yoga sutra for additional commentary.
So with out further delay, may I present Duhkha and Samskara.
“Duhkha (suffering) arises when we do not get what we want; it arises from desire. It also results from wanting to repeat a pleasant experiences that actually cannot ever be repeated because the situation has changed. Another form of duhka is experienced when we become habitual to having something and suddenly do not have it any more. In this case duhka arises because we have to give up something we are used to…” pg 87
“…The conditioning of the mind that lets it continually take the same direction is called Samskara. Samskara is the sum total of all of our actions that condition us to behave a certain way (which can be negative or positive)…” pg 89
So much comes to mind for me here I could probably write about it for weeks on end. I’m choosing to keep todays narrative personal.
When I first came to yoga I was 100 pounds heavier then I am today. I had awful self-esteem. My thoughts were constantly in a state of bouncing from one terrible incident to another. I would flash back to events from when I was 8, 4, 20, 18, re-live them, feel them, all over again in their entirety, and then verbally abuse myself with my own thoughts.
Trying paddle board yoga at 50lbs+ heavier (Before)
I was not a happy girl. I was plagued by this cycle that was unending. My self love and worth were nonexistent. I hated my body, I didn’t have a healthy idea of what love was, or what it was to be valued or value myself. I had next to no boundaries and those that I did have where very flimsy at best.
That pattern of thoughts, the minds chatter telling me how stupid, ugly, or unloveable, I was, was my Samskara at the time.
My Duhkha came from wanting things to be different then they were, wanting to be thinner, smarter, or happier. My life was also in a constant state of upheaval. I have moved over 20 times in the last 10 years.
I know a lot of people who are having this similar experience currently. I hear good friends explain a pattern they are stuck in, a way of thinking that they know is unhealthy or saddening to them, or just continual frustrations that feel limiting and exhausting.
The truth is we have all been there or are currently there in a loop that maybe we are unaware of. A pattern of unhealthy thought, behavior, or an unhealthy attachment to an outcome or desire.
This is suffering.
Desikachar tells us in this chapter that a good way out of our suffering is to…. TRY NEW THINGS.
When we try new things we see things differently and this can change our thinking, we actually become more aware, we perceive things with a clearer mind because we are focused on what is, instead of listening to old thoughts or patterns in our head. We are present in the moment of our new experience.
(Before)
Desikachar suggests trying a new yoga routine instead of the one you habitually practice, but you could take this further; a new setting, a new studio, outside meditation, or walking a new trail (or even just taking the same one a different direction), maying painting instead of drawing, or taking an old film camera along for a short road trip.
If you are really stuck in a pattern try something to shake it up a lot so you see things differently.
I started to see my whole world differently the second I stepped onto my yoga mat the first time, tried new healthier food, learned to surf, jumped into the saddle on my first lesson horse, traveled solo to new countries, did things I had not experienced before.
(Before)
I was the girl who told herself every moment of every day that she had no worth, was not athletic, was too overweight to do anything much less exist or take new challenges. It took many baby steps and trying new things, getting out of my comfort zone, and adjusting many Sanskara patterns to get to where I am today.
This week, the first time I attempted some yoga with my paddle board. I was so fortunate to have someone who cared enough to take some pictures while I was doing my practice. I was nervous about the images, because I still have some old thought patterns about my body bouncing around in the back of my mind, but I allowed myself to be photographed, to be present, to have a new experience.
When I saw the pictures I exclaimed. ‘I can’t even be mad about my imperfections, I have come so far.’
Trying paddle board yoga this weekend (After: changing my patterns through self-love)
So trust me when I tell you that one new experience may help you to find clarity of the mind, come into the present moment, to stop a pattern that is holding you back.
Please share in the comments how you have or want to try new things and finding focus in doing so.
Remember, yoga class Monday, Virtually at 7pm